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I smile when I`m having dirty thoughts :)
You can test my patience all you want, but I’m never going to pass.
Few things are creepier than someone saying "I know" after you introduce yourself.
has often thought that what doesn’t kill us makes us drink stronger liquor.
If I had a dollar for everytime i thought of you, I would start thinking about you!
I’m bored enough to clean.
Nothing ruins a perfectly good mood like reality.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
Sarcasm is funnier when used on people who don`t understand it.
The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking!
Even if women came with an instructions manual men still wouldn`t read it.
Walmart needs observation decks.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.
I don`t drink to feel better about myself. I drink to feel better about being with you
If Jesus was the son of Mary and he was the Lamb of God, Does that mean Mary had a Little Lamb?