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Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Next time you over hear a stranger giving out their number. Text them details of what they are wearing. It`s so fun to watch them freak out!
Last night my wife said to me, “What would you do without me?” Apparently, “Your sister” was the wrong answer.
really vry funny
Want the truth? Just ask a kid.
Can someone else be a sex symbol today? ... My good T-shirt is still in the wash...
The last time I got drunk I married Satan..I`m not doing either one again
I can`t believe the music that kids listen to now-a-days! What ever happened to wholesome music like "Push It" and "Me So Horny"?
The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."
Of course size matters. No one wants a small pizza.
Sometimes I think I’m too picky. Then I watch my dog look for a place to poop.
Every time my daughter drinks juice she says "cheers" so.... no, not looking forward to parent teacher conferences.
To be clever can be difficult without caffiene.
"Don`t let a hot date turn into a due date."--my father`s actual sex talk with me when I was 13.
I wonder what my future wife is doing right now ... Hopefully modeling.