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When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
From this point on, all postings of pictures of waffles will be considered a personal invitation.
Oops is farting in the elevator and thinking it would be silent.
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
If you enter a room and there`s no food, you`re in the wrong room.
If lemons hand you life, you’re probably dyslexic
Inspirational status of the day: Don’t be a douche.
I like when people call me "Sir". I just wish they wouldn`t follow it up with "you`re making a scene."
The problem with money is that too much of it belongs to people who aren’t me.
I got kicked out of a Yoga class today. Apparently, your not supposed to do the `Downward Dog` on top of another person.
Crazy to think back before camera phones we all used to sit in front of bathroom mirrors with sketch pads.
Woke up screaming this morning. My apologies to everyone in the meeting.
I have two words for this week. BEER ME!!!