Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Most of being an adult is marveling at the date and saying how fast the year is going by.
Some people are training as complainers like it is a competitive sport
Friends are like snowflakes.... if you pee on them they disappear.
If Monday had a face, I´d punch it.
Baby gates are parents` way of saying "this area is locked until you’ve gained more experience."
Remeber that time we came to work and we were excited? Me neither.
When I was a kid, I really thought piranhas were going to be pretty much a daily concern.
Slutty girls are like Walmarts, everyone makes fun of them but when you`re inside one at 4am you think, i`m glad these are here.
Why do they have “limited edition” scented candles? Are there crazy people collecting these things?
My idea of getting lucky is having someone else do the laundry.
Think we could get the North Korean hackers to end "Keeping Up With The Kardashians"?
Why don`t they make Neapolitan ice cream but with 3 better flavors?
I won employee of the month!!!…. again! I love being self employed.
They need to put more spider poison in hairspray.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.