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For those of you wondering what it`s like to be married, I`m on day 3 of an argument I didn`t know I was having.
is in no shape to exercise
We`re all brave until we realize the cockroach has wings
Who invented the brush they put next to the toilet? That thing hurts!
I don`t know if I should tip the bathroom attendant, or charge for letting him watch...
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Sarcasm is the ability to insult stupid people without them realizing it.
Never make eye contact while eating a banana
I`m leaving my body to science fiction
Just read a book on quantum evolution. The idea is that quantum mechanics are involved in the process of evolution. I still say go to WalMart and then try to sell me on evolution....
I like to think outside the quadrilateral parallelogram.
"Don`t try this at home"...Okay, i`ll try it at my friend`s house..
Screw it, just add another blade." -Gillette marketing concepts.
I own a shop selling `CLOSED` signs. We haven`t had a single customer today.
I don’t know who or what is doing it, but one day I will find the thing that continues to steal one sock and destroy it.