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I pay $200 a month for car insurance, I`ll run all the red lights I want
I`m convinced that every time a sock goes missing from the dryer, it comes back as an extra tupperware lid.
never judges a book by its cover. I use the paragraph on the back, it tells you what the story is about.
Are you one of those people that get hurt from things posted on Facebook? You can easily avoid that by keeping your a$$ off of Facebook.
The Walking Dead reminds you that other people would still be your biggest problem even if most of them died.
If I learned anything from my children, it`s that it is always OK to do something stupid, as long as someone DARED you to do it.
I think my neighbor is stalking me as she`s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.
Iām just SOOO busy. I spend 70% of my day telling people how busy I am and the other 30% trying to make myself look REALLY REALLY busy.
Abaaabbbbaaabbbaabbbaabb..... Long time no ` C ` ; P
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
Girls just wanna have funds.
Friends are like slinkys, they are twisted as heck but you can`t help but laugh when they fall down the stairs.
My house is not a mess. It`s just that everything is on display for your viewing pleasure. Like a museum.
Of course it`s you....there`s no f*cking way it`s me...
Do you like the strong, silent type? Then you`ll love my farts.