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To error is human, to forgive is divine, to keep your damn mouth shut is much appreciated.
condoms prevent minivans
Calling your girlfriend by her Moms name during a fight is a great way to escalate the situation.
Someday you may lose your hair, you may lose your teeth, your money and even lose your mind. But one thing you will never lose – your good looks, coz you can never lose what you don’t have!
I’d be 100x more motivated if Samuel L. Jackson yelled at me to get things done.
I have a moderate amount of skills in life, but one of those things does NOT include the ability to stop eating.
Sorry I said "at least it`s healthy" when you asked me how cute your baby was.
People who don`t understand sarcasm are awesome.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.
2013 is the first year since 1987 to have 4 different numbers… carry on.
I may be wrong, but I doubt it.
You can either be right, or you can be the husband.
Ohio - High in the middle, and round at the ends.
Moses had the first tablet with cloud connectivity.
If I were the guy who made the Where`s Waldo books I would have totally made a page where Waldo wasn`t there