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What`s it called when you always have a sweet tooth, but it`s only for booze?
There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else`s house.
A Positive attitude may not solve all our problems, but it will annoy enough people to make it worth the effort!
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Hey Guys, I don’t have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
Hey, does anyone know which side you`re supposed to wear your fanny pack on? I want to really nail this job interview tomorrow.
They should open a bar and call it "The Gym" so I can be like those annoying people on Facebook who brag about going to the gym every day.
Good for you, people that do things.
Do I misuse contractions? Yes, but it`s what it`s.
If you don`t take 500 selfies a day, do you even love yourself?
She lost me at, "I don`t watch football."
Yeah, I was gonna do that, but summer.
Seeking one night stand. I might need two though, I do have a lot of books.