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umm umm u know that school where i got the degree from
Mazda’s marketing slogan is “We Build Mazdas.” They decided on it after rejecting others like: “Mazdas Are Cars” and “Buy Mazdas With Money”
A lot of people are very competitive when playing stupid.
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
We live in a world in where it is easier to get out of a marriage than a mobile-phone contract
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
I would rather have a bad day of fishing then a good day of work.
Never make decisions when you are angry....or horny.
I forgive and forget, because I have a good heart, and a terrible memory.
I saw a lady with twins babies. One had a shirt that said ‘Copy’ the other ‘Paste’. That made my day.
One of the things I like to say to a girl after we have sex for the first time is "Hmm, damn weird... I heard you were better."
Might wake up early and go running but I also might win the lottery, the odds are about the same
“Let’s eat, get drunk and watch people exercise” – sports fans
Nothing says "under the thumb" like a joint Facebook account
Wanted a nap but had trouble getting to sleep. So I put on Seeking a Friend for the End of the World. Now 13 hours later, I`m well rested.