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He died doing what he loved, annoying the hell out of me and not believing I would stab him.
I got kicked out of my Community Theater group when the director asked to see me limp. How was I to know he was talking about walking??
Just did 100 crunches. Crumbs everywhere.
You know it`s a good night when you wake up with gum in your bellybutton.
Bigger isn`t always better. Thighs, for example.
I always hate when I miss out on wear your pajamas to Wal-Mart night.
One should love animals.. They are so tasty.
A recent survey of one person revealed that 100% of me thinks that I should leave work early.
I don’t have bumper stickers because I don’t believe in anything strongly enough to potentially get my car keyed.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
I like that CNN is tweeting a picture of ebola bacteria. It will be handy in case I encounter it in the wild. With my microscope vision.
I miss times when I was working at the zoo... my boss fired me just because I left the lion`s gate open.... I mean who would steal a lion
Me at age 5 "I wish I had a $1" Me at age 10 "I wish I had $100" Me at age 17 "I wish I had $1,000,000" Me at age 26 "I wish I had $1"
There may be no excuse for laziness, but I`m still looking.
Things are more like they are now than they ever were before.