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My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it`s because she`s a big dumb stinkyhead that`s jealous of my awesome Transformers collection.
I hate people that don’t know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. Their so stupid…….
I have officially bought the first batch of Halloween candies that will not make it to Halloween.
Maybe there`s no such thing as automatic doors, just gentlemen ninjas.
You are the pebble in my shoe of people
Putting your finger on someone`s lips and saying "Shhhh... Not another word." is super-romantic. But the cop didn`t think so.
Families should be able to trade people, just like professional sports teams.
Hugh Hefner dead at age 91. With the amount of Viagra that guy must have been taking, good luck closing that casket lid.
Studies show that if you begin a sentence with "studies show," the internet will believe you.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
They say money can’t buy happiness… but it can buy bacon, and that is pretty darn close.
Odd how all the `intelligent life finding instruments` are pointed away from earth.
I love Costco. You don`t go there thinking you`re gonna buy a 12-pack of watermelons but you`ll probably leave with one.
I swear July only lasted like 3 minutes