Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Let´s drink tequila till you don´t remember what I suggest next..
I swear I heard my dentist whisper "yolo" as he reached for a chisel...
Can we just stop with the pre-sliced cheese? Is anyone so busy that they don’t have time to cut the cheese?
If intelligent people don’t start having babies as fast as the trash in “honey boo boo”, we’re headed for a very dumb future. Am I the only one that sees this?!
I feel like water solves all problems. Wanna lose weight? drink water .. clear face ? Drink water.. Tired of your better half? Drown them
I like to take, long, romantic walks, to the fridge. <3
I need medical attention, but I will settle for just regular attention.
I would like to be a Disney Princess...You know, where I have random animals showing up to help with the housework!
Wisdom for the day is , hot cheetos are not breakfast.
The best person to get thrown in jail with would have to be the Kool-Aid Man.
One way to find out if you`re old is to fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you`re young, if they panic, you`re old.
Today`s the day I like to sneak onto the intercom at Walmart and say "would Jason Voorhees please report to aisle 13."
The female praying mantis devours the male within minutes after mating, while the female human prefers to stretch it out over a lifetime.
I was driving thru Farmville and I had to pee ... so I pulled over and fertilized your crops
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.