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Stumbled into bed late last night. "You`re drunk," she said. "Also, you live next door."
Yikes. don`t google "cream pies", google "cream pie recipes"
Apparently not checking the mail is not a valid excuse for not paying your bills. The more you know.
My resolution for the New Year is to find more situations where it`s acceptable to wear a bathrobe out in public
No pants are the best pants.
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
Nice try, St. Patrick`s Day, but I don`t need a reason to drink.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
The best government job has to be assigning names to secret operations.
Calories? I think you mean delicious points!
One man`s LOL is another man`s WTF
"I trust my boyfriend, I would never go thru his phone" -girls who can`t figure out boyfriend`s passwords