Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wrote you this love poem: Here, just take my credit card.
Don`t ever forget.. I`m always here. A l w a y s. Scrolling. Judging. Judging. Scrolling. That`s right. I see everything.
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
I like Tuesday, it rhymes with Boozeday...
Dear neighbor mowing your yard this morning, I found my bagpipes for tonight.
Girls here is an idea.. instead of spending that much money on make up just buy your guy a bottle of Jack Daniels.
Don´t wait for the perfect moment. Take the moment and make it perfect.
You better not pout, you better not cry, you better not shout I`m telling you why...we have our own problems and nobody cares about yours.
Scientist Proved That There are more Than 124786534688644478 People Living In This world who are Too Lazy To Read The Above Number...!!!
I was sitting on the toilet when the guy in the stall next to me started smoking. Disgusting. I nearly couldn`t finish my sandwich.
Werewolves tend to transform only upon noticing a full moon already in the sky, implying the affliction is 100% psychological.
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
I`m so proud of myself, I spent all night putting my Christmas decorations up myself.. I`m now at the hospital having them removed
Don`t sell yourself short, in fact, don`t sell yourself at all. I`m pretty sure it`s illegal