Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
(For women only) Wants to go on the Maury Povich show and hear, "You are NOT the mother!"
Anyone know when Facebook is sending us our W-2`s?
I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.
When people start praying before a meal, I close my eyes and imagine how far I could throw a potato if I really put my heart into it.
Anyone that tells you money is the root of all evil is f*cking broke.
We should`ve let the guy who named oranges keep naming other stuff.
Still no news on the royal baby. One will assume its being delivered by Royal Mail
Textaphrenia – thinking you’ve heard or felt a new text message vibration when there is no message.
Happy 4/21! National work drug testing day!
Just started a new exercise program where I put on a gorilla mask and chase a random toddler through Costco.
Apple and Blackberry should team up and make a phone called the Pie.
Take my advice; I don’t use it anyway.
Step 1 Change your wifi password to blowmefirst. Step 2 Wait for someone to ask for your wifi password.
Nothing says " My divorce didn`t go as planned " quite like the guy with grocery bags hanging on the sides of his bicycles handlebars
Lets all take a minute and realize the lack of creativity in the name "fire place"