Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Relax,,, We`re all crazy.. It`s not a competition.
When I die I want my body donated to science; specifically a scientist who is working on bringing dead people back to life
Three guys walk into a bar. Two ended up with a concussion, the other needed 4 stitches.
Is it considered rude to ask your boss if it hurt when the house fell on her in The Wizard of Oz?
When I drink I become everybody`s friend which makes up for my hating everybody when I`m sober.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
I want to put a bib on a baby that says "This dumbass put my cape on backwards." lol
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
I need a better plan of action when my phone rings than throwing it.
You are right when you realize you were wrong.
Every day is St. Patrick`s Day when you`re a drunk who likes to pinch people.
After a year in therapy my psychiatrist said to me " maybe life isn`t for everyone"
I hope my liquor store is having an after Christmas sale!!
Do a little dance... Drink a lot of rum... Fall down tonight...
So, All my exes live in Texas; Exactly, how does one go about scheduling a tornado ?