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When I was younger, it was wine, women & song. Now I am older, it`s beer, the old lady & TV!
My idea of heaven consists of all of the things I’d go to hell for.
Yes, your opinion matters ... But not to me.
If you see me drinking coffee from a to-go cup in public after 3 pm, that coffee is booze in disguise.
really vry funny
Sorry, I just saw your text from last night. Are you guys still at the restaurant?
I`m not a gamer, but I can be as lazy as one.
I`m in my 30`s, but I still feel like I`m in my 20`s until I hang out with people in their 20`s and I`m like, "nope, I`m in my 30`s"
"Thank God!!! They are finally taking these damn rubber bands off." -The last thing a lobster thinks.
That akward moment you try and deep throat a banana and get caught ... and your a dude.
People in glass houses can throw whatever they want. They live in a glass house, I`m not expecting them to be practical
There`s been a whole lot of office Romance since I became self employed...
Write me your opinions on this extra soft paper and leave it next to my toilet.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.
You’d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.