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not to brag but I finished this 14 day diet in 3 hours and 38 minutes.
That moment when you are having a conversation in your head and you realize you are making faces that go along with the silent conversation.
What if the lightbulb had never been invented? How would we know when someone has a really good idea?
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
I like to say, "Well, enough with the small talk" before anyone has a chance to speak.
I`m not saying we should kill all the incompetent people. I`m simply suggesting we remove all the warning labels and let the problem sort itself out.
Debate?.....isn`t that what you use to catch "The Fish" ?
Kids, because why would you want to sleep on more than 6 inches of your king size bed?
Sometimes I just open up the cabinet and let the Tupperware hit me in the face on purpose.
Remember when waking up early on Saturday mornings involved cartoons and not untagging photos on Facebook?
The best thing about marriage is how wives always like to joke about making sure the life insurance premiums are paid up...
Just ran across a great dessert recipe...Cut up some bananas, apples & oranges in a bowl. Add fresh squeezed lime juice. Then toss it in the trash and eat a cheesecake.
My posts come from a dark place.. I haven`t paid my light bill in 3 months.
Congratulation! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air! Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
A quiet man, is a thinking man. A quiet woman, is usually mad.