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I`m not shy. I`m just being quiet because I know that if I open my mouth to speak, a flow of never- ceasing, insulting comment directed at you will immediately spew from within me.
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
The first guy who bought pants had to go to the store without pants on, that`s just science
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
Of course everyone seems sexy in a nightclub. There`s liquor and you can`t hear them.
Good things come to those who wait ... Which explains why I`m always late.
I am not sure why a guy getting trapped in a vagina sculpture is big news...men have been trapped by vaginas for many years.
I see you posted a photograph of snow with the caption "it`s cold" could you tell me more about that
If your parachute doesn`t deploy don`t worry, you have the rest of your life to fix it.
Would an obsession with the imperial measurement system be considered a foot fetish?
Looks like I’m in the doghouse again, but I don’t know why. All I said to the wife was, “Is there anything important you want to tell me before the World Cup starts?”
Trying to untwist a twizzler is a real b*tch and this gas station cashier yelling at me isn`t helping.
My 5 year old still has so much to learn. I asked him for a screwdriver and he brought me some sort of tool.
If you`re confident enough, every zoo is a petting zoo.
Remember before Amazon reviews when you could just buy a toothbrush without 6 hours of research?