Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Look, all I`m saying is, you never see Nikki Manaj and E.T. in the same place at the same time.
"You know, I wish I`d never gone to the pool that day." ~Marco Polo
Why is it that the more annoying the tune, the harder it is to get it out of your head?
I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something.
Sometimes I worry that eating pizza isn`t a real sport.
is spending my children´s inheritance.
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
You know you`re getting old when cops make you feel safe instead of nervous.
The wifi going down on me is the most action I`m going to get tonight.
Today, I did it hard, I did it loud, it was wet, and I did it four times in a row. I wish I wasn’t talking about sneezing.
Why do we feel safe under blankets? It`s not like a murderer will come in thinking "I`m gonna ki..- ahh damn! He`s under a blanket
Jack daniel was found dead by johnie walker at castle strt under savanna tree,captain morgan believed dat he was killed by strongbow.his 4cuzns said that he was best in j&b club at knights...
I`m sorry, we can`t hire you. But your background check was hilarious.
I need a six month vacation Twice a year.
When parents on Facebook post about how they can`t believe their kid is going into whatever grade, write "No way! I thought for sure he`d be held back!"