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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
The first step to admitting you have a problem is having a problem.
The part of “no” that I don’t understand is the part where I don’t get what I want.
Its not my fault if I blame everyone for my mistakes...right?
Have we even tried giving Mother Nature a Snickers?
I don´t like to think of myself as "Special"... I think I would call me a limited edition.
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
I`m going to test my theory that tequila kills the flu... Or brain cells... Whatever, doesn`t matter... something`s gonna die tonight.
Nothing says poor life choices like the guy with the half smoked cigarette behind his ear
I hardly know you…. but, Facebook says it’s your birthday, so happy birthday!
likes beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate major events such as the my birthday or the fact that that it`s Monday.
I’m not a schizophrenic… At least, that’s what all the voices tell me.
If my ceiling fan could hold my weight, I`d never be bored again.
I like to stop the microwave with 1 second to go. Makes me feel like a bomb defusal expert.
Got a paper cut turning the pages in my self-defense book.