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You`re only limited by your own imagination! And money. And talent. And genetics. And time. And other people. Go for it!
My boss hates "yes" men and I have to agree with him.
Don`t date guys from the internet. The last guy said he lived in a gated community. Prison, he meant prison.
Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store.
Whoever figured out that you can make cake in a mug in under a minute was probably really going through some sh!t.
A picture is worth a thousand words, but it takes up a lot more hard drive space.
You’re probably naked under all those clothes. You slut.
Imagine all the amazing places you could take naps if you were Superman.
Please, lord, let me prove that winning the lottery won`t spoil me!
I know I`m an adult now, but I still hold out hope that money will fall out of every card I get.
My New Years resolution is to be more assertive if that`s okay with you guys?
Shouldn`t the Air and Space museum be empty?
I’m awkward when people compliment me. “Nice hair” “Thanks, I grew it myself”
The Best Excuse given by a Lady for Missing Work ! "My husband took an overdose of Viagra.....Couldn`t leave him alone with the Maid"
I’m glad I’m me, I don’t think anybody else could take it.