Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
I`m definitely the drunkest person in this ball pit.
The weekend went by and I don’t remember any of it. That’s a good thing right?
You don`t have to like me, I`m not a Facebook status.
I swear, if my memory gets any worse I’ll be able to plan my own surprise party.
Great. Trapped in an elevator with a dead body again. Well not exactly dead yet but he`s making noises with his gum
people say i talk in my sleeep , but no one at work seems to notice
When I bust a move , it stays busted.
My doctor said I`m healthy enough for sexual activity ... I`m just not attractive enough.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
Sometimes I whisper, "I`m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world...
Trying to be a responsible adult is messing up my social life.
Judging by the size of these chicken fingers, that chicken had to be somewhere between 7` to 10` tall.
Sorry I missed your call ... I was to busy singing and dancing to the ringtone