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Parents, forget about teaching your kids about the birds and the bees. Teach your kids the difference between their, they`re and there.
I’m glad you’re learning to laugh at yourself. That was kind of getting awkward for the rest of us.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
can be sympathetic, empathetic, compassionate, welcoming, loyal, trust-worthy, forgiving, understanding, and giving. But not to today!
Hey Gotham City criminals, why isn’t the first thing on your to-do list “Unplug the Bat Signal”?
The best thing about being single is all the sleeping around you can do…I can sleep all over my bed!
My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn`t a very nice postcard to receive.
If you work on a farm and your job is to take care of chickens, you are a chicken tender.
You move into my house, delete all my porn, decorate every wall with rooster pictures, talk incessantly, leave hair everywhere and are too tired for sex?? Sounds great, let`s do it!!
Shout out to hotel maids changing sheets on February 15th.
you know hes a keeper when you know his facebook login and password!
Success is like being pregnant. Everybody congratulates you, But nobody knows how many times you were ****** before you got there.
Facebook where I am surrounded with people but still no one can see me biting my toe nails or picking my nose :-D
Some questions just answer themselves. Like, sit-ups or pizza?