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No children were harmed in making this status. Ignored perhaps, but certainly not harmed…
So much to say. So not drunk enough to say it.
Is it just me or does chocolate taste even better late at night, hence the the last four letters of the word chocoLATE?!
Right now, a future teen mom is applying copious amounts of body glitter to herself.
went to see the conjuring, and now there`s 10 crosses, four bibles, and a poster of Chuck Norris in my room.
Double Stuff Oreos should just be called Oreos, and regular Oreos should be called Diet Oreos.
No heel is too high when pointed up at the ceiling.
Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. But add me on Facebook and I`ll stalk you (maybe)
A graham cracker is just a white dude selling coke in the ghetto.
Raise your hand if you have already spent your daylight savings
Checked my bank balance at the ATM and was happy to see I had 707 dollars in it until I realized I was holding the receipt upside down and it said LOL instead.
Why non-smokers don`t take bubble blowing breaks is beyond me
Oh, so you are thinking about me? I am also thinking about myself.....
An empty fridge is a sad fridge.
Don’t be scared of making changes. Be scared of living the same shitty life because you didn’t change. And spiders. Be scared of them too.