Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
*licks finger, holds it up in the air* ah yes, just as I suspected. wind.
"It seemed like a good idea at the time"............................... An often used phrase in a lot of my memories.
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
A bee will knowingly risk its own life just to cause you a little pain. I can totally relate to that feeling.
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it!
My internet goes out more than I do.
Some of the best things in life...are mistakes.
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
Watching game shows is like watching porn, you get excited watching someone else get lucky
Nuclear physicists can be lots of fun. They`re often referred to as the half life of any party.
Mirrors don’t lie. And, lucky for me, they don’t laugh either.
Hey, sorry I missed your call. I saw your name on the caller ID and I didn’t want to ruin my day by talking to you.
That frustrating feeling when the microwave trips the circuit breaker and you have no idea how much longer your lunch needs to be nuked.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
My doctor told me to watch my drinking. So I’m off to find a bar with a mirror.