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I show my age when I`m in a club with all the 20 somethings.. Guess its because the last dance step I mastered was dancing like Gene Gene The Dancing Machine
Was asked what I look for in a relationship. Apparently, "A way out" wasn`t the right answer...
If there is one-thing in this would i don`t like being thought is ... a lesson.
All women are crazy. But, if you pretend to listen to them when they talk, they will let you live.
You know what bothers me? When people assume you`re homeless cause you`re asleep on the street and your pants are gone..
My kids are the reason I wake up every morning. Really freaking early. Every...Single...Morning...
I use meditation and yoga to handle stress...Just kidding, I pop pills for that sh!t.
Just saw a Christmas tree drive by with a Smart Car strapped to the bottom of it.
Ahhh..Sunday..the biggest decision of the day...to bathe or not to bathe.
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
I think I will stick to my old fashioned pepper shaker. This new pepper spray tastes terrible on my potatoes...
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
insert coin to view my status
That tenth doctor is a selfish idiot, he never recommends anything!