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Prostitution must be a hole sale business.
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
Aren`t they Middle-Age Mutant Ninja Turtles now?
I would gladly believe in a religion that gives me free pizza and says people who squeeze the toothpaste tube from the center go to hell.
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
"Latte" is Latin for: You paid too much for that coffee.
My dog is entertained chasing his tail and I`m bored with a device that gives me access to infinite knowledge...
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice ... it`s cuz you have really nice tits.
I can`t wait to find my soul mate so I can start sleeping on the couch.
It’s getting really annoying how eating makes you gain weight..
I may be stupid but im also dumb! :D
Sweat pants & Uggs in public says "and I didn`t brush my teeth, either."
If ghosts existed, why are they all apparently from the last 100 years or so? Wouldn’t there be evidence of a Neanderthal ghost here and there?
If da Vinci were alive today, the "Mona Lisa" would have been called "IMG-20121020-00463.jpg"
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!