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Laxatives............for people who don`t give a crap.
Dear college students, Sorry about your GPA. - Netflix
Ahhhh, bad credit…the best identity theft protection.
Why is it that the most interesting things in life usually aren`t in our best interest?
I’m pretty sure putting time limits on when breakfast is served is unconstitutional.
It`s 2014 and somehow we still don`t have a car mirror that can make objects appear exactly as far away as they are.
If I look tired at the end of the day, it`s because I just spent eight solid hours looking busy.
I wish I could smack the stupid out of people. And if you think this status is about you ... Smack yourself for me!
Some of us live thousands of miles away from the majority of our relatives and can`t be with them for the holidays. But don`t be jealous.
You know it`s time to delete Facebook when your mom, dad, uncles, aunties, grandparents etc... is on it.
If guns don’t kill people, but people kill people, then doesn’t that mean that toasters don’t toast toast, but instead toast toasts toast?
You know it`s cold outside... when you step on dog poop and roll your ankle
Now that cell phones are becoming more and more waterproof, pretty soon it will be okay to push people into pools again...
Good For OJ, he gets to take another stab at life..
Dear life, When I asked if my day could get worse it was a rhetorical question not a challenge.