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everybody has a girlfriend or boyfriend, and i`m just over here like `i love food`.
It`s pretty stupid the way mornings have to come every morning.
"Why haven`t you been answering my pigeons?" -- Girlfriends in the 17th century probably
RAIN!!!! :) I guess my rain dances must have worked. Some people call it stumbling around... I call it rain dancing.
I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
The only excuse for the kinds of storms that have been coming is that someone somewhere is losing a game of Jumanji...
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
Lesson Learned: I poured bleach on the asshole that cut me off at the self-checkout. According to the cop, I misunderstood asshole bleaching.
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
"We`d be rich if you just said one f*cking word" - me, drunk, talking to my dog
My mom told me to follow my dreams. So I took a nap.
Immature: A word boring people use to describe fun people.
I wonder if strippers have nightmares about accidentally going to work fully clothed?
I like to Party! ... and by Party I mean take Naps
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.