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Please don`t wear skinny jeans if you don`t have skinny genes.
I`m starting to think that life isn`t worth living anymore and... Oh wait, there`s the bartender now. Nevermind.
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Today is the 1st anniversary of the end of the world. Can you believe it`s been a year since the world ended? Time sure flies when it`s the apocalypse.
Flip flops are fun because every time you take a step it`s like a high-five for your feet.
If kids are so wonderful why do you have to pay people to watch them?
That awkward moment when you`re telling the truth, but start laughing like crazy and everyone thinks you`re lying.
I might get a job cleaning mirrors,its a job I can see myself doing.
My new year`s resolution is that donuts have no calories.
A three hour long movie adaptation of pages 74 and 75 of the Hobbit? Friggin count me in.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
You seem to be very educated on the things you make up.
I lost 3 pounds over the weekend, but not to worry I found them lastnight at pizza hut
Ok Brazil, this would be a time when it`s ok to bite an opponent.
Me: You`re the prettiest girl I`ve ever seen. Her: You just want to have sex with me. Me: And you`re smart too, I like that.