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The sperm bank is overpriced to store my stuff so if you come over, don`t use the cloudy ice cubes from the tray labelled "Future Champions"
Normal people scare me ... But not as much as I scare them. :)
wants my 260 FB friends to know I love you all..except #193
I`m not totally useless. I can be used as a bad example.
Why is it that most nudists are people you don`t want to see naked?
I don`t have to run faster than the lion. I just have to run faster than you.
I can almost always tell if a movie doesn`t use Real dinosaurs.
DIET TIP: don’t eat chips right out of the bag. Get out just enough to eat until the pizza guy gets there.
Had another daydream where I`m doing the mexican hat dance and CIA guys watching me from satellites are dancing along in their control room
I can`t go to sleep if any of my apps need to be updated, but will drive my car with the check engine light until it explodes.
I hate when I’m walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
I was thinking about jumping on the Patriot`s Fan bandwagon, but I am afraid that the tires would be deflated...
Trouble is just fun you got caught having.
If the cupcake has some green sprinkles on it, it`s a vegetable, right?
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.