Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
“Nevermind.” Translation: You should’ve listened the first time.
Seems like everyone is either trying to pretend they have the life they want, or escape the life they have.
I finally figured out why men love belly rings so much on their women. It reminds them of the staple in the middle of their porn magazines!
I wish relationships were more like cell phone plans - "Free nights and weekends."
I don`t know what I would do without you, but I bet it`s awesome.
I know the voices aren`t real but they have some great ideas.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I would die if I had to stop exaggerating.
Really discouraging that there`s still bald people in sci fi movies.
Well, it`s about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work.
I just realised that sex is like air..its not important unless you are not getting any.
My mother said, “You won’t amount to anything because you procrastinate.” I said, “Oh ya…..Just you wait.....”
You think having periods is hard? ... Try being on a 24 hour killstreak on Call of Duty with itchy balls.
A word to the wise ain`t necessary - it`s the stupid ones that need the advice.