Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I’m offering a $1000 reward to anyone who brings me $1000 and a taco.
I hate it when my fat makes me look fat.
I can`t wait to get home and have make-up sex! ... I`ve been arguing all day with myself.
There is nothing like sitting naked in a beanbag chair eating Cheetos. ...I sure hope they let me back in Walmart.
Let me be honest, I dont even walk a mile in my own shoes.
Shouldn`t we get paid to use the self-service checkouts in supermarkets? It`s like we work there for a little while.
Are there actually people who get out of the shower to pee? I want to meet them.
I wouldn`t consider myself someone that litters but I do turn on my windshield wipers while im driving down the road to get rid of that useless flyer some idiot put on my car when I quickly run into the store.
I don’t have a problem with friends who ask to borrow money. I love a good laugh as much as the next guy.
Letting my dad play Angry Birds on my iPad is like showing a caveman fire.
With the right music, you either forget everything or you remember everything.
The hardest part of parenting is standing idly by while your children build a mediocre couch fort.
One man’s LOL is another man’s WTF.
So exactly what age will I stop falling over while trying to put on my underwear?
I say No to drugs but they... won`t listen.