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People of planet Earth, thank your gods that I`m not in charge of the red button.
Im at a beer tasting today..so far they all taste the same out of this case...well done Budweiser...well done!!
I hate hanging out with MC Hammer, he never let`s me touch anything.
I`m confused, oh wait, maybe I`m not.
We could learn a lot from our dogs.... If you can`t eat it or play with it, then pee on it and walk away
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Here`s a joke for all you mind readers...
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
Just had a fight with my alarm clock. It wanted me to wake up, I disagreed. Things got violent. Now the alarm clock is broken and I`m wide awake. Not sure who won.
I could write an entire book on excuses,,, but I have to pick my grandma up at the airport.
I will stop loving you, when Spongebob gets his driving license.
never realized how awkward it is to study the reproductive system in a coffee shop.. until now.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
It’s the most wonderful time of the year… to be slowly driven insane by Christmas music.
Youth is wasted on the young.