Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
All I see on Facebook is penis, orgasm, bang him, bang her, bullwhip, masturbate, porn, tits, and then I read everyone else`s posts..
I hate when beggars rattle their cup full of coins at me. Yes i know! You have more money than me, you don`t have to rub it in..
Some day I wanna be "change my oil every 3000 miles" rich!
I worry about the future because I know my friends that are teachers.
There’s nothing better than when someone you know walks by without recognizing you.
Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras.
It’s like I wanna be left alone but I still want people to notice my absence, you know.
Nothing good goes into a microwave at 2:00am.
When things get to stressful I hit the jim.......... Beam.
During a test..people look up for inspiration, down in desperation, and left and right for information
Just got a fortune cookie with no fortune in it ... Sounds about right for this Monday
I wish conversations were like user agreements, where I could skip to the end and just agree.
Suddenly my prison fantasy football league just got real.
If you put a "Student Driver" sign on top of your car, Nobody will ever suspect you of drunk driving.
Excuse me sir, where do you keep the "Whoomp"? Oh, there it is.