Daily Silly Status

I can tell exactly how much someone weighs by how much noise they make when I push them down the stairs.

So they say that having to much sex can cause memory loss, which is just a little something I seem to remember reading in a Rolling Stone magazine once on page 64 paragraphs 3 through 5 while sitting on a park bench October 14th 2002 at 3:46 p.m

Sorry for illegally downloading your music, guy who mostly makes songs about doing crime.

Roses are red, Facebook is blue, no mutual friends, who the F#%K are you?

Research shows that, when someone shouts "Oh no he didn`t!" ... He in fact did.

Bless me Father for I hit send.

If it looks like a pig and walks like a pig, do me a favor & tell my ex girlfriend I said hello.

I’ve already decided, if I ever go to The Price Is Right, I’m gonna “come on down” whether they call my name or not.

I came home from the gym today staggering and sweating after pushing my body to the limit ... And all I did was sign up.

I watched my first porn movie today. I looked so much younger back then...

I’m not lazy, I’m on energy saving mode.

Top three reasons he doesn`t text you back: 1. He`s just not that into you 2. He`s imaginary 3. He`s a cat

People that use big words, but not in the right context, are just trying to be ambidextrous

I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.

Buys Mega-Millions ticket. Has a better chance of being hit by lightning in a cave.