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Girls think that having their period is the most inconvenient thing they can experience. They`ve obviously never dated a girl who was on her period.
Wishing you a fabulous 2014 that is full of great achievements and experiences. A meaningful chapter waiting to be written HAPPY NEW YEAR!
We all need to take great interest in our future because we will spend the rest of our life there.
How long does it usually take for a Happy Meal to start working?.... It`s been an hour.
"This is the ride that killed Jimmy." - me in line, loudly, at amusement parks
I just ate what I thought was a feta cheese crumble from my salad off my shirt. Turns out it was deodorant. So how`s your day going?
I hate when people see me at the store and are like "Hey, what are you doing?" I`m like "Oh you know, hunting elephants."
I have no idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
I have an irrational fear of speed bumps but, I’m slowly getting over it.
"How`s phone reception in the bathroom?" is an important question, but one you just can`t ask on a job interview.
If the universe didn`t want me to eat four pop-tarts for breakfast I wouldn`t have four slots on my toaster...
The way to win the lottery is to choose the correct numbers in the correct sequence before they are announced. (You’re welcome)
You might think you`re smart until you try using someone else`s microwave.
If my walls could talk, they`d probably say "stop running into me you idiot"