Daily Silly Status

How to find the perfect husband: Play monopoly with him. if he chooses the iron, he`s the one

i honestly hate saying sorry but when i do i really mean it :-)

If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff

So my friend is mad at me because I slept with her ex. Her instructions were very clear when they broke up, she said "F*ck that guy!"

Change is hard. Seriously, have you ever bit a nickel?

Here`s a list of the things I have to look forward to today: 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. Drinking after work

It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering

Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.

Would you like to save money on your car insurance? Walk ... Just sayin

If you still wear a Calculator watch, my guess is you don’t need it to add up all the ladies you get….

According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.

Let’s just call a vacation what it is: the opportunity to live like an alcoholic for a little while.

I bought the world`s worst thesaurus yesterday. Not only is it terrible, it`s terrible.

Experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.

I`ve decided that throughout the time period starting with Thanksgiving, continuing on to Christmas and ending on New Years Day, the term `Calories" regarding all food shall be referred to as "Deliciousness Points."