Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I am not available because I am looking at porn that takes up the whole computer screen
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
Laugh now because when I die, I`m coming back to haunt you.
If you are naughty go to your room, if you wanna be naughty go to mine :)
Please don`t post pictures of cats on my FB wall. I am allergic.
I`m glad the Dentist calls me the day before to remind me to cancel my appointment.
Kinda surprised I`m not an action figure by now.
is not impatient. I just patient really fast.
I`m not a mechanic so I don`t know why, but my car seems to make a screaming noise whenever I run over people.
It`s impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
The longer I stay at home, the more homeless I look.
is running out of excuses for the stupid things I do. Please submit suggestions below.
Today has been cancelled, due to lack of interest.
The greatest fear is NOT fear itself. It’s dropping your phone in a port-a-potty!
Apparently, driving past police cars while drinking water from an old vodka bottle isn`t `funny` and is technically `wasting` police time :(