Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you think that the guy who invented the vibrator heard voices saying, "if you build it they will come"?
Teenage girls hang out in odd numbered groups because they literally can`t even.
If advertisers were smart, they`d make a silent, slow-motion commercial that runs at normal speed when you fast forward through it on a DVR.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
If a bra is called an `Over the shoulder bolder holder,` then would you call men`s underwear `Under the butt nut hut?`
I`ve got this great new drinking game where you take a shot every time you want to get more drunk.
It`s amazing how I come up with my best status updates when I`m in the shower or when I`m driving. I think it has a lot to do with me being naked.
Taking your pants off is a good way to let someone know you feel comfortable in their home.
"Something`s wrong. He`s never walked this far before."- what my shoes would say if you walked a mile in them.
"You CAN even."- white girl life coach
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
I bet jellyfish are sad that there are no peanut butter fish ... I`m not even high.
Who can really hear themselves thinking?
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.