Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s silly how we spend money on clothes when naked is free.
It`s so cute how all the free sandwiches in the fridge at work have little names.
You can tell you ate too much for Thanksgiving when you have to let your bathrobe out.
I try to avoid things that make me look fat, like scales, mirrors and photographs!
As often as I lose lighters and sunglasses, it`s a good thing I never had kids. Or did I?
What did the Japanese man say to the other Japanese man? Something in Japanese,
You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn`t come back, what you`ve lost is a regular pigeon.
Pizza gal reads my order back to me and says,"You have one large thick sausage, anything else?" With a smirk I reply,"Yes, I`d also like to order a pizza."
Settle down joggers at red lights, settle down.
People are obsessed with the front seat of the car but when you get in a bus, you go straight to the back
Life is just like a p@nis: Simple, relaxed and hanging freely, It`s the women who make it hard.
This is how my week goes: Mooooooooooooonday Tuuuuuuuuuuuuesday Weeeeeeeeeeednesday Thuuuuuuuuuuursday FridaySaturdaySunday.
There are plenty of fish in the sea ...That`s cool and all....but I`m a human.
I pulled my wife`s panties to the side.......then put the rest of her socks in the drawer.
If we meet offline and you look nothing like your photos, you`re buying me drinks until you do.