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Checked myself for ticks ... but I didn`t hear anything.
Dang girl,, Are you a Snickers bar? Because you`re so sweet and satisfying and surprisingly long lasting,, hold up,,,, are those nuts?
I think that there are two things that we can all agree on: Boobs.
“Was that lightning?” “No no…. they’re taking pictures for Google Earth..”
While waiting for the right person, have fun with the wrong one.
Is there ever a day when mattresses are not on sale?
Tonight`s weather forecast: dark. Continued dark overnight with widely scattered of light by morning.
I found the "one" today! Surprisingly, It`s been on my keyboard all the time.
My neighbour has diabetes and now she won`t make me cupcakes anymore, its like bad things always happen to me.
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
Somewhere out there is a guy named Joe whose greatest achievement is that he was a really sloppy eater.
Remember, children. The best way to get a puppy for Christmas is to beg for a baby brother.
Give a man a fish and he`ll go to McDonald`s instead. Teach a man to fish and nope, still McDonald`s
Hey baby, wanna come to myspace and twitter my yahoo `till i google all over your facebook?
You mean you can actually put the cork back in a wine bottle? WHY!!??