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It’s annoying when Netflix keeps stopping to buffer. Stupid neighbors just won’t upgrade their WiFi.
I love my toilet. We`ve been through alot of sh!t together.
When people ask me if I`m working hard or hardly working, I like to stab them with a pen and ask if they`re hurting hard or hardly hurting.
Don`t you just hate it when people say stuff in thier status that you really didn`t want to know? I hate that. Anyway, I gotta go poop. Talk to ya later.
Is it really necessary for the first square of toilet paper to be glued down?
WEB MD should have a simple answer like “Calm down-you probably just ate too many cookies!”
There is no better indication of how drunk you are than how loudly you declare that you`re not.
Few things in life are more pleasurable than turning off the lights in a public bathroom while people are still inside.
I have Beer.
Still hoping that one day I get to ride a kayak while it’s strapped to the top of someone’s car.
If there were "Box Tops for Education" on cases of beer, my kid`s school would be rich.
why do i feel like you are reading this
It`s as if none of these people have ever seen a beer hat at the gym before.
One time I exaggerated so hard that I died.
Everyone please stop doing crimes because sirens are too noisy.