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I swear I just go to the strip club for the music.
Bring donuts so your coworkers will like you. Cut them in half so they will hate you again.
Why do people who know the least know it the loudest?
My favorite part of Summer is the booze. Coincidentally, that`s my favorite part of the other 3 seasons, too.
Oh I thought it was wait 30 YEARS after eating before you exercise.
Cool thing about winter is after grocery shopping your car can double as your refrigerator.
I used to date a magazine editor. But, I broke up with her because she just had too many issues. No YOU shut up!
Relationship status: sleeping in my bed diagonally.
People are so predictable..I bet you`re even reading this status right now.
The best curve on a woman is her smile :) ...Hahahaha lmao! No I`m kidding, it`s her boobs.
Bitch, you`re just like monday, nobody likes you -_-
You know you are desperate for an answer when you look at the second page of Google.
Is it rude to put *vomits* under someone`s post ?
Something tells me that girl with the word "Princess" tattooed on her neck isn`t really Royalty.
Never do anything for money. Unless it’s a lot of money. Then do anything.