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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Weather forecast for tonight: dark
You can be like "This is a slippery slope" or you can be like "Weeeeeeee!"
Warning!! Today I will be coloring OUTSIDE the lines..
I`d love to have a sex change. Preferably from `none` to `absolutely sh!tloads`.
When it comes to tantrums, I throw like a girl.
I`m dreaming of a white Christmas. But if the white runs out I`ll pop open the red and drink that.
I wish Noah would have swatted those two mosquitoes.
Sometimes I get so mad at myself for being too lazy that I don`t even do anything about it.
Your shadow: What happens when light travels 93 million miles unobstructed, only to be deprived of reaching the ground in the final few feet by you.
If you don`t know me by now....I`m a really good stalker.
Sometime you have to hand it to short people ... because they can`t reach.
If I was stuck on a desert island with only one record, I would want it to be the record for being able to swim the farthest.
If I can’t act weird around you, I’m sorry we can’t be friends.
My New Year`s resolution is to help all my friends gain ten pounds so I look skinnier.
When my pc crashes, I go to the guy with the most action figures in his cubicle for help.