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In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on.
Easy baked macaroni and cheese recipe: Boil macaroni in water.... follow the rest of the instructions on box. TADA!
If you`re gonna label the silica gel "do not eat", maybe you should label everything in the box. I almost ate a shoe before someone stopped me
I’m no Dr. Phil, but I bet if you tell at least 5 people to f*ck off today, you’ll feel better.
As i get older i realize I do a LOT more YOGA...attempting to tie my shoelaces
Let`s be honest. If God wanted us to be vegetarians, he would have made cows faster.
Guys, freedom of speech doesn`t mean you can spell things any way you want to.
I hate it when I fill my blowup doll with helium and then she plays hard to get...
YOU WANNA PIECE OF THIS!?!?! ~me, aggressively handing out cake
Plan to be spontaneous - tomorrow.
The only thing instant glue sticks to instantly is fingers.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!
My rabbit died yesterday… Now he’s just some bunny that I used to know…
I like to read magazines about parenting. That way, I can learn all the things my parents did wrong and I can go back to them and say "See? This is the reason I am like I am."
just realised MR OWL ATE MY METAL WORM is exactly the same backwards