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Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
WARNING:: going to bed on Sunday will cause Monday.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
I was offering free mammograms in the company parking lot long before my employer was doing it ... just sayin
Sex ed class should be listening to a baby cry for 5 hours while watching the same cartoon on repeat.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
watching porn is like finding happiness in other enjoyment.....
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
I spend so much time on the internet, that the priest pronounced us husband and wi-fi.
Well it’s time to go from sitting on my office chair, to sitting in traffic, to sitting on my couch. I’m very skilled at sitting.
Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are.
The most frustrating thing I`ve ever tried to do was throw away a trash can.
Hey ladies breastfeeding in public,…Why don’t you ever smile in my pictures?
No, PornHub, I would NOT like to share this video with my friends and family on facebook.
The cashier at this self checkout is horrible.