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I love long walks on the beach under the moonlight, poetry, candlelight dinners, and having my a$$ spanked with a fuzzy slipper.
Thanks for explaining the word "many" to me, it means a lot.
These old people at the bus stop really suck at paintball.
Find someone you`re good at.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I`m living in their attic...
I bet short people get really excited when they accidentally hit their head on things.
My fitness goal is just to get down to the weight that I lied about on my drivers license.
?”Nobody listens to me….” – Yellow traffic light
Some days you`re the Titanic, some days you`re the iceberg, and some days you`re the guy who jumped off and hit a propeller on the way down.
If money grew on trees, Congress would actually care about the environment.
I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean if you want an autograph or a picture just ask..!
If you recieve something that says,”Send it to all your friends” , then please don`t consider me as your friend.
If you can`t say something nice about someone, you probably know the same people I do.
Drank way too much beer last night. Didn`t leave any for this morning.