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I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
I really shouldn`t have driven home from the bar last night. ..Especially since I walked there. :)
Why is it called tourist season if we can’t shoot them?
Do you ever get bored on the internet and then grab your phone to see what the other, smaller internet is up to?
Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.
I think I could be a farmer. Except for the dirt, waking up early, wearing overalls and planting crops. But I wouldn’t mind driving a tractor around.
I`ve never been skydiving, but I`ve zoomed in on Google Earth really, really fast.
When I drink alcohol.. everyone says I`m an alcoholic. But.. When I drink Fanta.. no one says I`m fantastic.
A clean house is the sign of a broken computer !
Happiness is having a large, loving, caring, close-knit family in another city.
Advertising taught me that hair conditioner makes you move in slow motion.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!
My Wife says I talk while I sleep..........but I`m skeptical. Nobody at work has ever mentioned it
People like you are the reason people like me take pills.
I didn’t get the job… heading home.. Good Bye Rome.. until we meet again.