Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We still don`t know sh*t about that airplane. - NEWS
Fun Fact: if you took the skin of an average person and laid it out flat,you would have enough for a serious criminal conviction :)
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
Its that time of year to find out what your friends with pools have been up to since last year.
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
don`t kiss the monitor, just ask me nicely..
If you get pulled over in a Smart Car for speeding, you should get a standing ovation, not a ticket.
Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding.
Thinking about staying in tonight? Nobody looks back in life and remembers the nights they got plenty of sleep.
I went to the doctor for a check up and he says I`m going to live. But I think he`s wrong and it`s just a matter of time.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
How do we not have lightsabers yet? Its like scientists aren´t even trying.
A friend like you is worth a million dollars. So, if you don’t mind…can I sell you? :D
My last boyfriend used to smile and say "I love you" to me every morning as he left for work. At least I think that`s what he was saying. It can be tricky to lip read through binoculars.
Nobody talk to me until I`ve Instagrammed my coffee.