Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it wrong to put leftover Halloween candy in their Easter baskets?
Looking back at old text messages and Facebook messages and being like "What the hell was I thinking when I said that."
Any pencil can be a number two pencil if you eat it.
There is a 100% chance that I’ve called some of the most wonderful people in the world the most horrible things imaginable while in traffic.
Every time I hear the phrase, "Fire at will!", I can`t help but wonder, "What did Will do?!"
Sad how some stick figures get stuck working the hangman game, while others get to have nice families on the back of SUVs
How come there are never any restrooms in my dreams
If you want to have fun with your kids, tell them the teacher called, then ask if there is something they need to tell you.
Two things you can always be certain about when it comes to women: 1) They`re always cold. 2) It’s somehow your fault.
am a bomb technician...anytime you see me running. Try keep it up
Look, here’s the deal: If you’re into immature, sexually compulsive men who drink too much and need to be the center of attention at all times, you are going to find me very attractive.
Newton`s third law of emotion. For every male action there is a female overreaction.
It should really be called teethpaste.
If two donuts are stuck together it counts as one right?
I`m thinking of making a sax tape to make myself well known like some of the bad boys and girls do...does it matter if I can`t play it?