Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If we all winked, laughed out loud, stuck out our tongues and blew kisses in real life as much as we do in texts...it would be very creepy.
Never sit down in front of the computer while having breakfast because when you get up it’ll be dinner time.
I don’t hate you, I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence.
Apparently "I`ll break your god damn legs" isn`t the problem solving skills that employers are looking for, at least according to HR anyway.
ATM is telling me I have insufficient funds. Worst part is I was just walking by minding my own business.
I don`t really want to hear about the marathon, unless of course, they add an element of suspense ... Like a Bear at mile 3
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
Thank you Pringles for being the only chip company that doesn`t sell air.
Being an adult is the worst idea ever.
Think about how much more stressful life’s most stressful moments would be if accompanied by the running-out-of-time music in Mario Bros.
Easy come, easy go describes my last 12 cases of beer and 17 relationships.
My To-Do list for today is just a bunch of things I wanna eat.
I once had a goldfish that could break-dance on carpet, but only for like 20 seconds...
These bar stools are creaky!! [continues to fart on first date]
Just saw a coyote next to the highway... I hope this tunnel ahead isn`t just painted on.